For example … When you've finally got your ex talking to you one more , it may appear to be ideal time to let them know all your deep emotional feelings regarding the break-up. Right? Those gut feeling say "it is the best thing to do" 'yes'. But experience has proven eight times out of ten that to pour your heart out to your ex right now is going to be disastrous, because the break-up will never get a chance to heal! - you can end-up opening old wounds.
So read the following action-steps carefully. They may 'feel' wrong, but whether in solving a simple lover's tiff or an insanely complicated divorce, they've been shown to get results.
FIRST
Make the effort necessary to accept that your relationship has indeed broken up. This can be tough. People who don't except this fact usually try to go back in time and try to rebuild their relationship from 'that time when it was good', you have to realize that won't work. The good times have been and gone, and you are know stuck in the bad times. If you want to rebuild a relationship you have to rebuild it from the point it started to fall apart.
Another benefit benefit for accepting that you have broken up is that you will gain time. That means your ex has the chance to get over any bad feelings they may have and you will be starting afresh, and your are not trying to work over the top of the upset of the break-up.
SECOND
So you've accepted the break-up.
Now, you need to stop communicating with your ex.
Okay, before you press the 'Power' button off, think again! This action has several powerful effect on your ex. It shows that you really have decided that you've broken up and suggests to them that they may have no further hold on you. It shows you're independent. It lets your ex miss you! and think about you, this planned silence will also raise a curiosity in your ex,and a certain pycholigical pressure, "the pressure of silence" are you scepticall? have you ever been in a room full of people and no one is speaking to anyone, how did you feel?
THIRD
There are several next steps that you could take. They depend on your exact situation. They are NOT usually the things your 'gut feeling' tells you to do! The idea is, basically, now that you have set up your ex to be thinking positive thoughts about you, to arrange events so that you can meet in the right way to re-establish a good rapport.
Maybe that sounds like a good thing to do IMMEDIATELY! Gut response, right? Don't do it unless you want your plans to explode into dust and ashes among those landmines.
You may be shouting NO!! and throwing objects at the screen by now. But - you want to get your ex back - right? So think with your head. Not your intestines! Ignore those gut feelings, accept your break-up, cut off communication, get a gameplan and you've got a much better chance of success.
The road to winning back your ex may seem long and is not necessary going to be easy. The best way to look at it as being scattered with emotional booby-traps. Take just one mis-calculated step and: bang! There may not be a second chance.
The problem is that most people trying to get back an ex after a break-up generally take the wrong step because 'my gut feeling told me it was the right thing", or 'or a I was sure it would work.' Fact: if you are under emotional stressed of any kind and try to make decisions to handle your emotions the chances are your decisions will be affected by your emotions and they are going to be bias and one sided so don't expect them to be RIGHT! In fact there probably going to be…WRONG!
Take this into account: life has proven to many, time and time again that when you are under emotional stress never go with your gut feelings, because at this moment in time their probably WRONG.
