If you are trying to get over break up right now, then you don't need us to tell you how bad things hurt. We know how you feel! Sometimes you can think your heart is collapsing inwards. Its strange how sometimes you can feel so desperate to see your ex one minute - and the next minute you feel as if want to "strangle them with your bare hands." That is all "part and parcel" of trying to get over the pain and frustration of breaking-up.
Just as there are various steps to getting over the grief of a dear one who has passed away, there are also several steps that you can take to help get over the pain of a breaking-up. One gentleman I know had a first wife who died and his second spouse filed for divorced. He told me "it was actually harder getting over the divorce of his second wife than it was getting over the mis-fortunate death of his first wife." That is because there is usually plenty of societal support available when someone dear to you dies, but you are supposed to go about getting over a break-up on your own and without any help.
An age old therapy to help ease the pain of a broken heart is: to sit down and write a long letter to your ex. Really, pour out your heart. Share the experiences you had together. Tell him or her all the things that you loved about them. Get it all down on paper including: what's going through your mind regarding the break up. Call them as many names as you want - don't even worry about going overboard. That is because no-one is ever going "set eyes" on this letter. Once you have got every thing down, light a candle now with the light a candle set alight the letter over the candle's flame. There are not many rituals that are designed to handle a grieving heart due to breaking up, but this ancient one can help you get your feet back on the ground and back on the road to emotional recovery.
If you have been in a relationship of any reasonable length of time then you probably have some of your ex' stuff still hanging around your place and they'll still have thing at your home. So the next thing you need to is to arrange an amicable exchange. So get all their things boxed up and sort out a time for a mutual swop
If you still have items of your ex's around the place that aren't going to be returned to them, then don't hang on to them...throw them away. Get unrelenting and brutall! Don't leave your ex's toiletries hanging around the shower room because it will only serve to remind you of them as you are trying to go about getting over the break-up. This is about survival!
It is also a good idea to pack away any presents from your ex which you no longer want (or even ones which you like but which reawaken painful memories). Wearing an item of jewelry ect, given to you by your ex can remind you of them whenever you come to put it on! That's just not a good idea. First, it's emotionally destabilising in the immediate here and now, and secondly, it can make the task of getting over the whole affaire far more difficult.
There could be money matters that need to be sorted out when you're still getting over the break up. If you owe your ex money, try to repay it from your own money as soon as possible, or, if that's going to take any length of time, just get another loan to pay it off. If you have a joint bank account together, work out how you are going to cut-up the funds so you both get what you rightly deserve then close down the bank account.
What you should be observing is a fazing-out of one part of your lives, and new door to new avenues will slowly start appearing for the both of you
