The road to winning back your ex may seem long and is not necessary going to be easy. The best way to look at it as track being scattered with emotional booby-traps. Take just one mis-calculated step and: bang! There may not be a second chance.
The problem is that most people trying to get back an ex after a break-up generally take the wrong step because 'my gut feeling told me it was the right thing", or 'or a I was sure it would work.' Fact: if you are under emotional stressed of any kind and try to make decisions to handle your emotions the chances are your decisions will be affected by your emotions and they are going to be bias and one sided so don't expect them to be RIGHT! In fact there probably going to be…WRONG!
Take this into account: life has proven to many, time and time again that when you are under emotional stress never go with your gut feelings, because at this moment in time their probably WRONG.
For example … When you've finally got your ex talking to you one more , it may appear to be ideal time to let them know all your deep emotional feelings regarding the break-up. Right? Those gut feeling say "it is the best thing to do" 'yes'. But experience has proven eight times out of ten that if you pour your heart out to your ex right now there maybe a disaster, because the break-up will never get a chance to heal! - you can end-up opening old wounds.
So read the following action-steps carefully. They may 'feel' as if they are going against your instincts , but whether you are trying to solve a minor lover's tiff or a marriage on the verge of a divorce, they've have been successful with getting results.
FIRST
You need to make a definite effort to accept that your partnership with your soul mate has indeed ended. This is not easy and can be very tough. People who are not willing to except this fact try to go back in time and try to start to reconstruct their relationship from 'that moment in time when the relationship was doing well', It is vital that you realize that this will seldom work. Those times have been and gone, and only exist in your head (they may no longer exist in the head of your ex) in reality you are know in the bad times. If you want to revive a relationship you have to start reconstructing it from the point it started to go wrong.
Another benefit of agreeing that your relationship has ended is that you will gain some valuable time, and also give your ex the time needed for them to get over any ill feelings they may still be harbouring for you. So when you start working to get them back, your will not be trying to work on top of the upset of the previous break-up.
SECOND
So now that you've accepted and agreed that you have broken-up.
Now, the next step is t: to politely cease all communicating with your ex partner.
But, before you flick the 'Power 'off switch, think again! Because this action is going to have several powerful effect on your ex partner. It gives them a clear signal that you really have come to the conclusion that the relationship has ended and to your ex this will show them that any hold that that they may have had over you has now gone. It also shows you're now completly independent of them. It will cause your ex to start thinking about you, this planned silence also has the unique benefit of raising a natural state of curiosity in your ex, and a permits a certain pycholigical pressure to to build, "the pressure of silence" are you scepticall, do you have doubts or resevations? Well have you ever been in a room full of people where no one is talking to anyone or have you ever tried to make conversation with someone who did'nt respond...how did you feel?
THIRD
There are a number of things you can do. However, what you do next will depend on exact situation of the break-up. But be aware! What you do next should not usually be what your 'gut feeling' are telling you to do! The idea is, simply, now that you have set your ex up to start thinking about you again (and hopfully they are positive thoughts), you need to arrange things so that you can both meet in the right way to start to "re-build old bridges" and re-establish some sort of friendship again.
Perhaps that sounds like something you should go and do IMMEDIATELY! Gut response, right? But hold your fire! You want your plans to explode in in your face.
You may be screaming NO!! and want to throwing objects at the computer screen right now. But - you want to win back your ex - right? So use your head, and not your guts! Ignore those feelings that come from the stomach, accept your break-up, cut off dialogue communication, then formula a gameplan and you'll have a far stringer chance of getting back together.
