I know it's rough and you probably feel a bit shaky, mad, impatient, even panicky or desperate. But here is a very important and useful piece of advice.
Just for a few minutes, chill out. You want to make the best decisions to be happy for the future, don't you?
What state of mind do you need to be in, if you want to make good decisions?
Relaxed, not rushed. Rational, not flapping around like a headless chicken. And NOT drunk, stoned, wired, starving hungry or exhausted.
Of course there are lots of emotions involved here. But they can all be looked at too.
So get something to eat and drink. Sit down comfortably. Take a long, slow, deep breath in. Hold it for a second or two. And let it out slowly.
Now, let's take a calm and reasonable look at ALL your options.
1. First, worst option. Do nothing. Give up. You won't get your ex back. Instead, you go your way, your ex goes another way. Not a good option. Not one to take.
Next --
2. Another option. Turn into a 'dishrag' - tell everyone how terrible you feel, do nothing, and hope that someone else will somehow arrange to get your ex back for you. Nuh-uh! You won't get your ex back … and even if you could, you'd have zero self-respect
3. Third option, also bad, also pretty much guaranteed to make things worse, but you'd be amazed how many people make this mistake! So let me say it straight: don't try to bribe them back. Don't shower your ex with gifts, leave phone messages every hour of the day, tell them how wonderful they are, or 'bump into them' on every possible occasion. Don't try to 'impress' them back or 'wow' them back with money, gifts, showing off or anything else 'different'. You'll drive them away further.
4. Panic is yet another sure-fire road to failure. Don't panic! There is never a situation in which losing control to your fear is the right thing to do. Many people panic, stop dealing with the situation rationally, and immediately go into another of the options listed here … a few days later they do NOT have their ex back but they do feel even worse than before!
5. Another option: try to 'get back at them' somehow - either in a mean, sneaky, 'it's only for your own good' kind of a way, or with an outright blazing full-frontal attack on them. Let's face it: this is guaranteed not only to drive your ex even further away from you for the foreseeable future, it may also wind up losing you more friends and getting you into trouble with the police. So leave the anger alone.
