Do you know of anyone who has had one of those hysterical phone calls from a close friend: "help my marriage is in deep trouble!" Situation like these happen all too often in today's society and most people just want to stay clear of some else's marriage problem. But as an innocent bystander, sometimes you have no choice and have to get involved whether we like it or not.
Sometimes it may be necessarily for a third party to look at the relationship to see if they can be of any assistance. Very often a solution for the marriage problem is as simple as "just being prepared to listen".
Amazingly, being able to unload anxious emotions on to "a sympathetic ear" can be of great benefit to some couples in the middle of a decaying relationship.
Because the parameters are not always known in these kinds of situations, due diligence has to be exercised. A female getting too en-twined in a relationship problem may well be seen as a unwelcomed intruder or "a meddler" by the married man. He may start to get defensive and feel he is now becoming unfairly targeted or worse "ganged-up on". Even if the faults are rectified, the likelihood is he will always view the friend in a different light.
That is why exercising discretion has to be paramount. It is all too easy to create more damage to the relationship than was earlier present by accidently stepping over the mark. The only time that it is really safe to intervene is when there is obvious proof that he is the main cause of the dispute. If it things transpire that the man is the main reason that the partnership is having its troubles, then a friend can only really be of help to the wife. However, there is one thing for sure: this will never work for a man. Strangely, if a female friend tries to console a man, she can sometimes be falsely accused of trying to break up the relationship.
The best bet is for the friend or relative to recommend the couple get some help from a third party, like a councillor ect. Bringing in an outsider who does not have a bias interest in either side will help to bring an overall stability to the situation. But even this decision needs to be cautiously looked at. If a woman is deemed to be the cause for any unsettlement in the relationship then a male counsellor might be a more suited, alternative. If the wife has been cheating on her husband, then more than likely a lady counsellor would be more applicable.
The end analysis is, if you have found yourself in the dilemma of having to ask a friend for help to get your relationship fixed up, then what ever your friend does to help has got to be done in the strictest confidence.
