I was angry with my friend
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe;
I told my wrath, my wrath did grow.
The famous poet William Blake certainly knew what he was talking about when he wrote about emotions and human relationships - he was one of the great scribes of love, hate, life and death, and he lived more than he wrote about!
And he certainly knew what goes on between people when they break up.
Maybe you're now good friends (just about) with someone you broke up with in the past, or maybe the very thought of them still sends you into a cold sweat of fury that has you snapping pencils unconsciously between your rigid fingers.
Common emotional reactions to breaking up are disbelief, regret, grief, shock, pain and of course rage that you could be rejected - that life could be so unfair - that you could have been so stupid - that they could have been so stupid. Whatever the apparent reason, the plain fact is that emotional 'attacks' can be hard to live with and hard to control. And rage is usually the most worrying.
Now dealing with rage was something that William Blake knew about. But in the lines of poetry above, he's also describing two of the commonest mistakes that people make with their emotions when they break up with a lover … and then change their mind.
If you treat your ex like a friend, that's probably what you'll end up with - a friend. A friend is someone you can talk to about your anger with them, and they can hear you out and understand it - and, like magic, the rage lessens and eventually disappears. But you end up with a friend - and you don't want to make a friend. You want your lover back again. On the other hand, an enemy is someone you can really enjoy being angry with - and, by keeping it bottled up, you make it grow and grow. If you just squash down all those emotions, you're going to make your ex into someone you feel uncomfortable with all the time. And you aren't going to get back together that way either!
So, you can't treat them as a friend and tell them all about your wild emotional swings … you can't treat them as an enemy and keep it all inside. How do you deal with these emotions and find another way of talking to your ex - so that you stand some chance of getting back together with them again?
You need a PLAN, and you need another viewpoint to help you through the tough emotional patches. Someone who knows what you're going through, but isn't blinded by the excess of the reactions. Someone who knows how you can deal with the situation to your best advantage, but who understands exactly what's going on at the same time.
You CAN benefit from the experience and viewpoint of someone who's helped more than 6,100 people all over the world already and earned the 'World Cupid' title more times than you've wondered how to get back with your ex-lover.
As Blake also wrote in another famous poem: 'Nought loves another as itself.' It's good advice to remember - your ex is probably not thinking about 'how you feel' so much as 'how to move on'. And you need a game-plan to get ahead. So take Blake's advice: love yourself first, do yourself a few favours here, and you can get your ex back too.
Click here to find out about the magic of making up - of ending the break-up.
