how to get my ex back-it's sad but true

After a break-up, many thousands of people find themselves typing into Google's search-bar the burning question of How To Get My Ex Back. But is this the right question you should be asking yourself at the moment? Instead of, How To Get My Ex Back? should you really be typing, How Can I Move On"?

Break-ups happen all the time and to some extent one can say they are all part of life. Moreover, although many break ups are painful they do give you a chance to examine the relationship: if you could put aside for one moment the question of How can I get my ex back … and ask, Was that relationship with X ideal for me?

Now of course if, in your estimation, it was the perfect relationship you had always dreamt of, then that's fine. Typing into the search engine How To Get My Ex Back would be a perfectly valid thing to do.

But what if the answer was No, it wasn't what I have always dreamt, but at least it was a relationship which was 'better than nothing.' Then, could it be true that you were in that relationship not entirely because you loved your partner … but because of fear of being alone … or anxiety about a lack of love …?

And if this could possibly be true, then How To Get My Ex Back is not the question you should be looking at right now.

You see, many people have started and stayed in relationships not because they love the other person but because they felt that they would never ever find another mate. But for every broken heart out there, there is also one waiting to be healed … not saying How To Get My Ex Back but instead saying If I Smiled At You, Would You Smile Back?

There is also another question one should ask before trying to resolve the How To Get My Ex Back question and that is: What was the exact quality of this relationship that has just ended? Was it a loving and a fun-to-be-in type of relationship, or was it what some experts call a "toxic relationship"?

What's a "toxic" relationship?

Well, it is one of those relationships that overall causes more trouble than benefit and pleasure. You can usually identify a toxic relationship because the good times never seem to last very long before something bad occurs. It's like a ride on a roller coaster one minute you're as high as a kite and everything seems great and the next minute your partner has said or done something to hurl you sickeningly towards the ground. Then you have to pick yourself up. Sometimes you even get an apology but it never lasts - because as sure as the sun will rise and set tomorrow your partner will soon do something else to bring you down.

There are other signs of a toxic relationship. But a relationship going up and down like a yo-yo is just one of them.

Now! If you have found yourself dumped out of a toxic relationship, let me tell you that the last question you should be asking your self is How To Get My Ex Back?! You should be saying to yourself, What A Blessing. Yeah, sure, being dumped always hurts - but staying in a toxic relationship will always, always hurt more in the long run.

Let me tell you something from my long experience of relationships. Being dumped will not kill you, but a toxic relationship will cause bad physical health, may damage or even destroy your mental health and will cause you more trouble than it's worth. The stress may send you to an early grave.

So, before you try to resolve the How To Get My Ex Back question, just ask yourself this … Is it really time to move on?