1. "Stalking" them. What does this mean? Okay, maybe not 'stalking' as the police know it ... but avoid constant phone calls to your ex, 'just one more' text message, 'bumping into them' at parties, on the street, in the workplace and generally not letting your ex out of your sight.
2. Displaying jealousy. Such a common mistake, used often in the hope of actually getting back an ex. Jealousy is a natural reaction which can be very difficult to keep under control but being jealous and displaying jealousy are two different things. If you are having difficulty keeping jealousy under control you must do everything possible from letting others see it, particularly your ex. It will only make you look like a jerk!
3. Turning into wet spaghetti. If you shower your ex with gifts, cards, flowers, chocolates, love-notes etc., this will only embarrass them and make things more awkward during a time that's difficult for them too. It is not going to 'buy them back'. What would be more helpful at a time like this is to take one step back from the situation, and then find and use an effective strategy to win back your ex.
5. Not being yourself. Perhaps some of the spice had gone out of your relationship and you were missing the 'Wow!' factor before you broke up. So now you think your ex might prefer the 'superhero' version of you, or the 'film-star' version of you. But your ex is the first person who'll see through an act, and will just think you're insincere or a bit of a joke.
Any and all of the above forms of behavior may well convince your ex that they should be looking elsewhere. What's required for you to get your ex back is DIPLOMACY and (as mentioned above) some kind of effective strategy and plan.
In the emotional turmoil and confusion after a break-up
it can be hard to judge actions and consequences correctly.
4. Using tit-for-tat. It's often stated and always true that two wrongs don't make a right. If your ex does something that you don't like, try to rise above it and not display anger or irritation. Retaliation can all too easily escalate into all-out conflict ... which you really don't want if you want to get your ex back.
Very oftern someone can think they're doing the right
thing when actually their actions are
making the situation worse,and sometimes there can be a fine line between trying to show someone we still care for them,and being a pain in the asse.
Could you be turning into your own worst enemy?
Please! if you are doing any of the following? may I ask you to "stop it".
There's no doubt about it. During the stresses and strains of a break-up, people say and do things that aren't in line with their normal behavior. Anyone can understand that.
However ... please ... even if it seems impossible ... try to avoid doing and saying things that you could later regret, especially around your ex. Of course it is extremely difficult, when everything about the subject hurts. But any of the following can so easily make things even worse!
